Showing posts with label Body Image Warrior Week. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Body Image Warrior Week. Show all posts

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Body Image Warrior Week: Sally McGraw


Welcome back to Body Image Warrior Week. A project organized by Sally McGraw of Already Pretty, BIWW brings together 11 amazing, inspiring bloggers who write about body image, why it matters, and what it all means to us.

I can't believe I forgot to include Sally McGraw's post during Body Image Warrior Week! Sally is, by far, my favorite blogger. She's incredibly wise, eloquent, brave, and fearless. She loves clothes and fashion - and has an enviable wardrobe of boots I would kill for. The point of Sally’s posts is that we are already lovely as we are, and we should to treat ourselves as such.  It’s fitting that she’s the driving force behind Body Image Warrior Week, don’t you think?


vintage clothes shop, milan


Cycling Up

You know how, when you’re feeling kinda wretched about the current state of your bod, you tend to lose interest in shopping? And eventually, shopping apathy morphs into diminished interest in clothes? And sometimes THAT indifference becomes an inability to engage in basic grooming?

It’s a fun little cycle, and we’ve all been there. Usually, a girl’s gotta hit bottom to shake loose body blues this severe: A candid party photo of your unkempt self that gives you shivers, a cutting comment from a coworker, or something equally traumatic usually throws our long-rusted self-care gears in the opposite direction.

Now, consider this: What if you forced it? What if – on those days when you looked in the mirror and saw Grendel – you made yourself don a flirty frock, curl your hair, and slip on a sassy set of boots? Would it help or hurt how you felt about your body and face and overall self?

Swear I’m not going all Fernando Lamas on you. Just hear me out.

We’ve already established that the cycle of self-loathing is inextricably linked to the cycle of self-neglect: Feel bad, look bad, feel worse, look worse, and on and on. But I maintain that a cycle of self-love can be perpetuated by a cycle of self-care. If you feel awful about how you look and allow yourself to LOOK as awful as you feel, you spiral down. But if you feel awful about how you look and work against that negativity – beautifying yourself with the tools you have at hand – you spiral up.

When you put effort into your appearance, you are less likely to hide from mirrors, eat nothing but crap, and withdraw from social situations. When you put effort into your appearance, you are more likely to receive compliments – important sources of external feedback that encourage you to CONTINUE putting effort into your appearance. When you put effort into your appearance, you don’t wallow, you move.

Caring about how you present your physical self to the world makes you more present in your body. Presence in your body feeds itself, creating more care. The cycle of self-care feeding self-love creating more self-care allows you to broadcast a profile of self-respect and power. It reminds you that you can control how you feel about yourself. And that’s powerful good stuff.

Personal style can be used as a tool to cultivate self-care and reflect self-respect. No matter how tall you are or where you carry the most jiggle, you can learn to flatter your figure. You can utilize your natural, perfect beauty to reflect your undeniably amazing self outward to the observing world. And when you do, you kick-start the machinery of self-love.

You can choose your cycle. Choose up.

Sally McGraw is a Minneapolis-based blogger, freelance writer, and communications professional who holds a degree in creative writing from Binghamton University. The mission of her daily blog, Already Pretty, is to show that body knowledge gained through explorations of personal style can foster self-love and self-respect.


Image via Fabrye

February 27 – March 3 is Body Image Warrior Week. Throughout the course of this week, you’ll read posts from an inspiring group of women who fight hard against body image oppression through their own words and work.

Participants in Body Image Warrior Week are:

Friday, March 2, 2012

Body Image Warrior Week: Mara of Medicinal Marzipan


Welcome back to Body Image Warrior Week. A project organized by Sally McGraw of Already Pretty, BIWW brings together 11 amazing, inspiring bloggers who write about body image, why it matters, and what it all means to us.

Today's post comes from Mara Glatzel, of the blog Medicinal Marzipan, has been writing about body image for years. She blogs in a clear, strong voice, and her posts are so thoughtful and wise. Today, tackles an important question that sometimes gets ignored in discussion about body image and acceptance: What happens when "love your body" feels  out of reach?


It’s like - my body is over there, spilling over into the room around it, and my head is over here,

chatting with you and looking pretty. We’re two totally different pieces. Can’t you see? But, I love my body, can’t you tell?

It took me a long time to realize that loving my body meant something quite different than leaving it alone and letting it run the show however it so pleases. That loving the skin that I was in had absolutely nothing to do with “throwing all the rules out the window,” or saying f*&$ you to society and their idealized beauty norms.

It means: you only get one body. One. It is your home, your rock, your ally - and treating it like a dumpster or ignoring it, hoping it will just go away already - is not helpful.

It means: respecting the skin that you’re in.

I get a lot of people writing me emails about loving their bodies, wanting to know please God body love seems so far away when I hate my body so much - to which I reply let’s start with body neutrality.

Yes, body love is the wonderous state where everything is wonderful and you skip around in a field of flowers, blissed out and having nothing but compassionate thoughts about your authentic self. But for many? We just aren’t there yet.

Body neutrality is a state of contentment. It is dead smack between I hate myself with every fiber of my being and I couldn’t possibly love my body any more. It is a white flag thrown into the ring. It is the gauntlet thrown down when you realize that what you’re doing? It just isn’t working for you.

For me, body neutrality means cultivating a short set of guidelines within which I know that I will feel relatively good - and sticking to them, no matter what. These rules include simple things (the kind we all know that we should do, but never get around to) like starting my day with 32 oz. of water pre-coffee, getting at least seven hours of sleep, buying underwear that fits, having sex with moderate regularity, and trying to fill up half my plate with vegetables of some variety.

It’s not really a write home worthy list, but it works. As someone who is recovering from a lifetime of compulsive and emotional eating - these guidelines keep me in a window of containment where I am able to make decisions that aren’t warped by mood swings or panic. They save me from the very dangerous place of: How did it get this bad? I am so terrified and feel so disgusting I don’t know what to do next.

These guidelines put my head back on my shoulders, reconnecting it with my body - after twenty years of stuffing my feelings down with food. It reminds me that my body is here to support me as I move about the world - and that is something that should be celebrated.

It reminds me that we are on the same team, and that developing a baseline of self-care means that we both win.

And for someone who is just beginning to delve into the world of self-love - it is a perfect place to begin.

Mara Glatzel is a body image warrior and self-love coach. She spends the majority of her time causing a ruckus on Medicinal Marzipan, where she blogs (almost) daily about correcting your relationship with your body and food, creating relationships that are fulfilling, and manifesting your dream life. Catch up with her body loving updates on twitter, Facebook, or send her an email. 

Image via Lafemmerist

February 27 – March 3 is Body Image Warrior Week. Throughout the course of this week, you’ll read posts from an inspiring group of women who fight hard against body image oppression through their own words and work.

Participants in Body Image Warrior Week are:

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Body Image Warrior Week: Margarita Tartakovsky


Welcome back to Body Image Warrior Week. A project organized by Sally McGraw of Already Pretty, BIWW brings together 11 amazing, inspiring bloggers who write about body image, why it matters, and what it all means to us.

Today's contribution comes courtesy of Margarita Tartakovsky, associate editor at Psych Central. I discovered Margarita's blog during a search for posts related to eating disorder recovery, and enjoy her relatable writing style and unflinching approach to topics such as body image, body acceptance, eating disorders and self-confidence. Be sure to catch up on her writing at her blog, Weightless, on Psych Central.

Broken Heart

Loving Your Body, No Conditions Necessary

I used to think that in order to love my body or really just tolerate it, I had to be thin. I had to have a flat stomach, small hips and sky-high cheekbones.

And I had to earn this love, this tolerance. I had to earn it at the gym --- punitively pounding the pavement of a treadmill --- and at the dinner table --- carefully, nervously watching what I ate.

I used to think that I didn't deserve to feel good about my body or myself overall because my figure didn't fit the above criteria. Instead, there was softness and curves and rounder cheeks.

And so I wondered and worried, how could I love a body that supposedly didn’t deserve it? I wanted to, but I truly believed --- with all of my being --- that I wasn’t allowed to. I’m not sure where these prescriptions came from. It was probably a mix of society's stringent physical standards and my own perspective, a lens colored for so long by a shaky sense of self.

But either way, I felt that I couldn’t enjoy my body until I’d lost weight. Until I did what I came to believe was the exclusive path to body love.

Recently I read a powerful guest post by Rebecca Soule on Anna Guest-Jelley's beautiful blog Curvy Yoga. Soule wrote a letter to herself on Valentine's Day. She made the following vow to herself:

"So today, on Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love, I celebrate my love for you: for better for worse, in health and happiness, in creaky joints and achy knees, laughter lines and all, this life, this moment, this earth, until my spirit departs from you."

The part about the creaky joints and achy knees really gave me pause because it refers to loving your body through it all. Through running for miles and through lying on the couch sidelined by sickness. Through losing weight and through gaining it back. Through the roller-coaster of emotional and physical ups and downs. Without conditions. Without specific criteria.

And it makes so much sense. It's what we do for others. When we love someone -- a boyfriend, a best friend, our parents, our kids -- we love them unconditionally. We don't keep track of random criteria that the person must fulfill. We don't think about them earning our love -- whether at the gym or at the dinner table. We don't think about their qualities, especially their physical traits, as currency.

Our loved ones don't need a six-pack to gain our respect. They don't need muscular legs, thinner thighs or chiseled cheekbones to have our appreciation and utmost love.

So why wait to respect our bodies based on a singular, random ideal? A standard essentially set by the very companies that profit from our insecurities, hang-ups and regular body-bashing?

Our bodies are intricate and complex machines and breathtaking works of art. They work behind the scenes on the bare essentials --- like breathing, moving, seeing, hearing, touching --- so we can go after our dreams. So we can make our art. So we can make babies. So we can give love. Give hugs. Cook a delicious meal. Savor that meal, bite by tasty bite. Dance. Learn something new. Laugh.

Our bodies are vehicles that take us to amazing places, whether we get there through our feet or our hands. Whether we physically arrive at a destination, are able to read about it or compose a story.

We don't need to wait until we have blemish-free, wrinkle-free skin to respect, appreciate and love ourselves. We don't need to wait until we shed X amount of pounds. We don't need to wait until we have a muscular stomach or a tinny tiny waist.

And we don't need to stop respecting, appreciating or loving our bodies when we can't do a certain exercise, or when we're sick or tired or bloated.

Perfection --- whatever that means to you, whether it's continuously performing at your peak or having a sculpted stomach --- isn't a prerequisite for a positive body image, and it's certainly not a prerequisite for appreciating and loving ourselves as a whole.

If it were, no one would love. No one would be loved

But this couldn't be further from the truth.

Love, of course, exists. And it exists in all shapes, sizes, colors, forms and flavors.

Margarita Tartakovsky is an associate editor at Psych Central. She also writes Weightless, a blog that covers everything from building a positive body image to ditching dieting to becoming a smart consumer to recovering from eating disorders. You can learn more about Margarita and her work at her personal website.  

Image via Gabriela Camerotti


February 27 – March 3 is Body Image Warrior Week. Throughout the course of this week, you’ll read posts from an inspiring group of women who fight hard against body image oppression through their own words and work.


Participants in Body Image Warrior Week are:

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Body Image Warrior Week: Kate of Eat The Damm Cake


Welcome back to Body Image Warrior Week. A project organized by Sally McGraw of Already Pretty, BIWW brings together 11 amazing, inspiring bloggers who write about body image, why it matters, and what it all means to us.

Today's post comes from Kate Fridkis, of Eat The Damm Cake. Kate has a straight-from-the-hip writing style I have long admired, and she writes openly and honestly about body image. Be sure to visit her blog and read her posts.

Little Heart

I write about body image because I love eating cake, but women around me are always dieting.

I write about body image because I have been told it doesn't matter, but every year, more girls have eating disorders.

I write about body image because everyone cares about beauty, no matter how much we tell ourselves we don't. And because, really, we are beautiful, no matter how much we tell ourselves we aren't.

I write about body image because I moved to Manhattan, where suddenly everyone was very thin and very careful about eating and always going to the gym and suddenly it occurred to me that I was not thin enough and not pretty enough and very bad at going to the gym.

I write about body image because I noticed that after I noticed that I was maybe not thin enough, I stopped eating some of my favorite foods. They slipped out of my diet. I said no to dessert. I felt guilty when I gave in and made pasta for dinner. I felt guilty all the time, because all the time, I was cheating. There were all of these rules about what I could and couldn't eat, and how much of it was OK, and I had somehow memorized them without even being aware of it, and now, when I broke them, I was ashamed.

I write about body image because I got a nose job because my big Jewish nose seemed like the opposite of beauty. Because when I told people that famous, beautiful women never have big Jewish noses, they always said, "What about Barbara Streisand?" and that was a long time ago. No one can think of anyone more recent. And also, because when my boyfriend who became my husband told me over and over that my nose was beautiful, I didn't really believe him, even though I should have.

I write about body image because people make fun of people who get cosmetic surgery, even though when I got cosmetic surgery, there was nothing funny about it. I hated my face. I wanted to destroy my old face.

I write about body image because I don't look like a model, but sometimes, automatically, I really wish I looked like a model. And at the same time, I really wish I didn't wish that.

I write about body image because when I was a little girl, I thought I was gorgeous. I thought that I was gorgeous because I was me.

I write about body image because women are always complimenting each other by saying, "You look like you lost weight!" and because it's so hard to think that what you are is already enough.

I write about body image because the more I write about body image, the more letters I get from girls and women who tell me how important this topic is. I get letters from women who don't want to go outside because they feel so unattractive and women whose mothers told them they weren't ever going to be pretty enough and women who were told by the world that they weren't worth as much as they actually are, and women who feel fantastic about the way they look and are so relieved. And because the more I write about body image, the better I feel, when I look in the mirror. The better I look to myself. The better I realize I am.

That's why I write about body image.

And also, cake is just delicious. We really shouldn't ever give it up.

Kate Fridkis is a Brooklyn-based writer whose work appears regularly on The Frisky and the Huffington Post. She blogs at Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter @eatthedamncake

Image via Holy.

February 27 – March 3 is Body Image Warrior Week. Throughout the course of this week, you’ll read posts from an inspiring group of women who fight hard against body image oppression through their own words and work.

Participants in Body Image Warrior Week are:

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Body Image Warrior Week: Patti of Not Dead Yet Style


Welcome back to Body Image Warrior Week. A project organized by Sally McGraw of Already Pretty, BIWW brings together 11 amazing, inspiring bloggers who write about body image, why it matters, and what it all means to us.

Today's post comes from PattiG of Not Dead Yet Style. She reflects on how certain body parts become a "problem" for us. This post struck a chord for me, as it shines a light on just how pervasive negative body conditioning is in our culture.

We Don't Have "Problem Areas"

 


Oh boy, this is a pet peeve. I hear it mostly on the home shopping channels (gulp, if I ever, um, happen to have the TV tuned to one of them while I am, errr, polishing up an article for the New York Times). The cheery host or model points to the latest tunic top (two easy payments!) and delivers the good news: it covers all those problem areas!

I know they mean our midriffs, in this case. Other garments mercifully cover over our problem hips, "derrieres", thighs and upper arms. Sometimes the salespeople make little unhappy faces as they mention the offending body region, or they smile ruefully and pat their own (perfectly nice) hips.

Of course, I don't want to expose all my body secrets to the waking public. What a world it would be. I like to drape garments over my body to make a pleasing line. Because I have a relatively small waist, I like to wear clothes with waists, and/or I add a belt. I don't wear clothing that clutches on to my hips and thighs because it's 1) uncomfortable and 2) unprofessional in my workplace.

My thighs are not a "problem" however! Sometimes my finances are a problem, my cat having allergies can be a problem, and new construction making me late for work is a  . . problem. My pale, slightly dimpled thighs are just mine. My upper arms have lost a bit of their struggle vs. gravity but they are not a problem. They are  . . . interesting. I choose to show them or not, and for work I choose not.

I rarely hear any garments for men, of any size or shape, touted as covering up their troublesome bits. "This polo shirt will not cling to that problem tummy, guys, so grab two!"

We want to dress to look better, or we wouldn't be reading and posting on fashion blogs. It's natural to want to look good, we're built that way. Do I sound grumpy? I'm not. I am a happy woman who objects to the problem-ification of my body parts. Does that mean I have a . . . problem?

Patti is a 50-something blogger and mental health professional from Central Florida.  Her blog celebrates the over-40 woman; visit her at Not Dead Yet Style, and follow her on Twitter @PattiNotDeadYet.

Image via DollMakersJourney.com

February 27 – March 3 is Body Image Warrior Week. Throughout the course of this week, you’ll read posts from an inspiring group of women who fight hard against body image oppression through their own words and work.

Participants in Body Image Warrior Week are:
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